At no point did anyone identify as a cat. Let’s get the facts out of the way first. Kemi Badenoch requested a snap Ofsted inspection, on the basis that a recording was circulating of “a teacher acting inappropriately regarding her pupils’ beliefs about sex, gender and a fellow pupil who claimed to identify as a cat”. A spokesperson for Keir Starmer said: “I think children should be told to identify as children.” Downing Street issued a statement to the Telegraph. Because before long, the leader of the opposition, a minister of the crown and our prime minister himself had, as per the customary terminology for such controversies, “waded in”. You may have a good nose for nonsense, and may have thought that this story sounded wildly implausible, but even that would not have saved you from eventually having to consider it to be true.
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